Well the day has finally come.  My kids are growing up.  I know, I've had plenty of time to see this coming.  But they are making plans together without me..  They are leaving this house and doing stuff without ME.  I have home schooled for the last 12 years, it can be weird not having them include me.  At first I just took it for granted that I was included when they were making their plans.  They coordinated the their schedules and agreed on what to do.  They did all this in front of me.  I assumed I was included.  WELLLLLLL.  This morning I was informed that they were going by themselves.
           I have been going through a tough time these days.  My daughter is leaving soon to go study culinary arts (against my sage advice).  My son starts a new job this week with full time hours for the summer.   My husband is only home one week a month.
           They are going out for dinner.  I know I wanted them to get along better, but couldn't they include me in the fun too.  They never take me anywhere.  Fine, there is always the dog.  We can have dinner together.
            Bakita, do we want Gravy Train or Alpo?  Wet or Dry?

Too tired to listen any more.  That has been my mantra these days.  My kids will not stop bickering.  I don't even ask anymore.  I just tell them both to shut up.   You would think that at this point, they would get along.  I deserve some peace before they move out.  At this rate, I will be packing both their bags and driving them to the bus station.  We can't get through a meal without some kind of argument occurring.  I have been cooking everything they hate lately, hoping that a common enemy (me) would unite them.  Sometimes when they argue and I know who is right, wrong, whatever, I tell them to shut up.  When they try to drag me into their petty issues, I just say I am too tired to listen.  I have even said I don't care.  I figure that just confirms their suspicion's any way.   I have been accused their whole lives of not caring.  Why are they surprised now?  It is amazing what happens to your parenting skills after 20 years.  When ever they use the old "you love her/him more than me" routine,  my new reply is your right.  Then I stomp away.  See how they like it.  

                      I was watching Dr Phil  the other day.  That is what happens when you wake up at 5 am.  He was doing a show about what was wrong with men.  He had three single ladies on his panel with three single guys.  I only watched about 20 minutes and had to turn it off.  I listened long enough to know these people were single for a reason.  They wanted perfect people right from the starting gate.  

                   I have been with my husband for over 20 years.  Neither of us started out perfect and we still are not perfect.  We have just learned to live with each other with our imperfections.  My husband was the worst date I ever went on.  He took me to a terrible restaurant in the worst section of town.  He never had anything planned.  He was broke most of the time.  He was not a smooth talker by any means.  He still cannot complement me without it all coming out wrong.  BUT I understood he meant well.  I always understood that.  Just because he didn't do things as I expected them, he thought he was doing something nice.  He was nervous. I didn't expect him to read my mind and know what I wanted.  I had to come right out and tell him.  At the same time, I didn't complain all the time.  I didn't demand that he take me to certain places.  I had friends and if I wanted to go to a special restaurant, I went with them.  Dating for us was about time.  We spent time together.

            My husband was never taught to open doors for me, he was never taught how to behave on a date.  We had to  do that together.  I think that is the problem these days.  Parents do not teach their kids anything anymore.  All they expect from their children is to not get on their nerves.  He didn't understand the need for manners.  I was not his mother by any means but I was someone who cared.  I saw underneath a man who wanted to do what was right.  We did not marry perfect people and neither did our husbands.

             My son has been taught.  I have had the thrill of hearing how polite and wonderful he is.  He opens doors, pays for dinner, and had plans.  He makes his date feel like the most important person at that moment.  My daughter knows to be gracious and patient.   She knows how to state her limits without sounding militant.  

             Here is a little tidbit it heard on the show. Ladies take note.  In a survey of men, the big question was, why did they not want to commit to marriage while in a relationship.  The answer, they were already getting the sex they wanted. Interesting isn't it.  Back to that old fashioned thinking.

Some days I would rather be married to housework.  Housework never leaves.  It will wait forever for you.  It will even stay exactly where you last left it.  It doesn't tell you to hurry up.  You can always count on housework to greet you first thing in the morning.  Even if you only spend five minutes with it,  something has improved.  Housework will always give you something to do.

All I want to know is if God has a sense of humor, why doesn't he ever tell the punch line  to his little jokes.  For example my kids.  My husband and my kids to be more accurate.  Here's one.  I cannot count how many times my husband has stood in front of his dresser with the closet door open and yelled that he can't find his brown pants.  some one must have taken them.  First my son is not guilty because these are brown polyester work pants with holes in key places.  Not my sons style.  Besides, hes weights about 150 lbs less than his father.   I know my daughter didn't take them.  That doesn't even need to be explained.  So my dear husband deducts that someone has stolen them.  Yup, that must be it.  A pant-less thief broke in the house, passed all the power tools and electronics and stole those damn pants.   I try to reason with him but he insists that they are gone.  I yell back that he has to actually look for them, they aren't going to sprout legs and walk up to him.  He insists he did.  SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, I stop watching soap operas and eating Bon-bons to go look for his pants.  I open his drawer.  Push the other 300 pairs of pants aside and find them.  I wish his pants did have workable legs and ears so they could walk themselves up to him on command.

My kids are just as guilty.  They are constantly loosing power chords, cell phones, and occasionally their clothes.  My son once lost his winter coat in his room.  We found it when we packed to move.  They have lost furniture in their rooms.  My son's new idea is to leave important papers in the kitchen.  That way when he looses them, it must be my fault.   When they look for stuff, they stand in the middle of the room and wait.  They must figure that like their dad's pants, they have legs and will walk themselves to them.  I wish they did.

I love it when they borrow my things and loose them.  No one tells me.  I figure I have lost MY MIND because I am pretty sure I left it somewhere specific.  I will meticulously search for about an hour.  Some one will ask what am I looking for and then find it.  For the longest time I thought I was going senile until I figured something out.

How is it the same group of people who cannot find their own things, always find mine.

I just know God is laughing at me a little.

Went running the other day with my "new" dog.  I felt that having her with me is a safety thing.  We live on a dirt  road leading to the Beartooth Mountains.  So we have wildlife in abundance.  The greater Yellowstone area is just 3 miles up the road.  My husband was concerned about bears and wolves.  The first fall here, I ran into a black bear.  He was no more interested in seeing me that I was him.  We went opposite ways and have never run into each other again.  I  heard that you are supposed to make lots of noise when out in the woods.  I figured all my heavy breathing and big feet clomping on the road should do it.  Anyway, we heard wolves the other night, so the dog was supposed to at least warn me of any dangers.  

       We started out at 6:30 am like usual.  We get about a mile up the road, when an Elk crosses the road in front of us.  I am simply thrilled.  Elk are pretty elusive.  To get to see one this close was exciting.  I look down to talk to the dog and she is gone.  I look down the road.  She is high tailing it home.  No good bye, no bark, nothing.  Just gone.  I am on my own.  She never came back, never even looked when I called her.  Let me explain the irony of this situation.. She is a cross between a border collie and austalian kelpie.   They are herding animals.  They are bred for this purpose.   She herded herself home, is what she did.  

           The kids were concerned when she came home without me.  They were so concerned, they let her in and went back to bed.   I continued on and returned home at about 8 am.  I had to wake the kids up to let them know I was home.  My daughter said that the dog had been home for awhile.  Good thing she warned them.  Good thing they didn't go looking for me.  I would have been so angry to see them out there.  It's dangerous after all.   Wouldn't want them to risk their lives climbing into the pick up and driving down the road.  

           Turns out the dog has a backbone after all.   She keeps all the Robins out of the yard and all those mean mallards out of the pond.   I ever run into a prairie chicken, I'm good.  She will protect me.