There comes a time in every relationship when understanding must be practiced.  If not, then I have to find a way to wrestle my 17 year old to the ground and shove a bar of soap into his mouth.   He called me on his way home from work to let me know where he was.  This is a result of a discussion about my right to know where he was and who he was with.  I did not yell, I am proud to say.  Anyway,  he was telling me where he was and his ETA, when he had what sounded like a tourettes episode and yelled F^&%$  A*&$%^ into the phone.  I must have gone into shock.  I didn't say a word for 10 seconds.  I just was stunned.  Then continued to talk to me.  I finally asked what is going on.  He explained that a truck ran up behind him and bumped him, then took off.   He didn't realize what he did.  I finally asked him if he remembers cussing at me.  He panicked and started apologizing desparately.   Well I could have lectured him on this and bored him to tears.   Instead, I acted shocked and hurt.  I told him I was going to call his dad and report that he was cussing me.  My son started pleading with me and apologized again.  He couldn't say he was sorry enough.  I told him his dad will probably fly home just to whip his butt and fly back to work.  I did this for about 5 minutes and then started laughing.  This was far more fun than getting angry and grounding him.  In fact I think I will get that bar of soap.

At about 5 am I woke to the sound of song birds greeting the morning sun.  It was a nice cool morning and I was snug under my blankets.   I love living here.  Then I heard rocks crashing and a deer making whatever that noise is.   I heard more rocks.  Just behind my house is a mule deer and bobcat having at it.  The deer was chasing the bobcat.  She was not chasing it off, she was trying to kill it.  It hid under some shrubs but the deer persisted.   All that ruckus sent my dog into a fit.  She started to bark and howl.   There was no shutting her up.   Then my daughter woke up, knocking something over in her room.  I heard a huge crash.   The dog was really excited.  She was running back and forth barking.  The deer and bobcat were still at it outside.   Finally the interlopers outside went on over the ridge. The dog calmed down and Renee cleaned up whatever fell in her room.  It was now 5:30 am.   So glad I came out here for the peace and quiet.

Famous words of wisdom my mother used that I now share with my children.
Knock it off
How many times do I have to repeat this
Go away
Yea whatever I love you too
no No NO!!!
I shouldn't have to tell you.
What the hell  were you thinking!
No I am not happy with you
Quit kicking the dog
Feed the damn cat now!
He died because you wouldn't take care of him.
Keep it up.
Go tell your dad.
I don't care.

and the number one quote that has helped my through the teen years is..................
SHUT UP!            I HAVE A HEADACHE THANKS TO YOUR CONSTANT ARGUING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Some body in this house is getting medicated.  Not sure who yet but SOMEBODY!    One more ridiculous argument over misplaced eyebrows or incorrect sighs and the downers are coming home.  I will put everybody on Quaaludes if necessary.   I am sick an tired of having to solve the most insane arguments.  Either someone's eyeballs rolled in the wrong direction or someone made a mean sound or something stupid.  How about the "you didn't need to pass the salt to me like that!" That really happened.  How do you pass the salt wrong!  I want one just one day without the petty bickering.  Are they trying to get thrown out of the house?  Are they trying to get me to the point where I come in with a ball bat and start swinging at heads.  Who knows.